It was a regular Friday evening, except, in one corner of the world, the biggest breakup party in history was about to begin.
Enter Rajveer Oberoi son of Asia’s second-richest billionaire (his dad is still regretting about not being first). Heartbroken, disillusioned, and fueled by a deep desire to drown his sorrow in bass drops and strobe lights, Rajveer decided to take therapy… wait, sorry, typo—he decided to rent out Asia’s biggest nightclub.
“Agar dil toot gaya hai, toh party banti hai!” he declared, standing atop his 24th-floor penthouse balcony, dramatically staring at the horizon like a Bollywood hero.
His best friend, Vikram, raised an eyebrow, “Bhai, tum therapist kyun nahi dekh lete?”
Rajveer scoffed, “Therapist? Bro, main Oberoi hoon! Hamare yahan heartbreak ka ek hi solution hai—VIP section aur imported vodka!”
And so, within hours, Asia’s most extravagant party was set up. The nightclub, which usually hosted only the ultra-elite, was now exclusively booked for one single, heartbroken millionaire and his emotional damage. The DJ lineup? Only the best in the world. The guest list? Whoever could dance away Rajveer’s pain (or at least pretend to). The theme? “Ex Who?”
Rajveer walked in wearing black shades and a designer suit, even though it was 10 PM and he was indoors. “Tonight… we forget her, bhai!”
As the beats dropped, the crowd went wild. “DJ, bass aur volume dono badha de, taaki meri aankhon ke aansu sunai na dein!” Rajveer screamed into the mic. The DJ nodded, understanding that heartbreak was best cured at 150 BPM.
The drinks flowed, the dance floor trembled, and Rajveer’s phone still holding onto his ex’s number was last seen being dunked into a champagne bucket. “Pehli baar kisi ne mujhe reject kiya hai! Main toh rejection dene waalon ki category mein tha! Yeh kaise ho gaya?!” he wailed dramatically.
At some point, the club bouncers had to physically stop him from making a speech about love and loss on the DJ console. “Rajveer sir, mic chhodiye… yeh Arijit Singh ka concert nahi hai.”
By 3 AM, Rajveer had gone through the five stages of grief:
Denial: “Usne break up nahi kiya, bas prank kar rahi hai. Right? RIGHT?”
Anger: “Mere ghar ke naukar bhi mujhe dump nahi karte!”
Bargaining: “Ek call karna chahiye? Bas ek last time?”
Depression: Holds champagne glass dramatically “Mujhse bura toh koi nahi hai yaar.”
Acceptance: Removes shades, sighs “Fine. Kal naye options dekhenge.”
As the party wrapped up, Rajveer stood at the club exit, sunglasses back on, looking at the rising sun. “Love is temporary, but VIP tables are forever.”
And just like that, Asia’s most expensive breakup therapy session concluded, leaving behind only empty champagne bottles, a ruined designer suit, and an unforgettable story for the tabloids.
Moral of the story? If life gives you heartbreak, throw a party so big that your ex hears about it and regrets everything.
“DJ, ek last song bajade… is baar thoda dukh bhara ho!” he sighed, channeling his inner Ae Dil Hai Mushkil.
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